Clip wing she flew, crashed only to land where she needed to heal.
Healing felt like she was breaking every piece of who she was. Layer after layer, unmasking parts of her only to find that what she held was other’s opinions of who she needed to be. Each layer showed her a set of knowing who she is. The healed wing became the wing of a butterfly.
What has this taught me ?
It was nice knowing you.
It taught me a lot in understanding people’s viewpoints. It showed me people are always who they say they are.
I struggle with love. I even struggle with finding the right words to say at times. This whole thing about what needs to be maintained isn’t always said. See life to me is what experience shows you, even though I can empathize with people about their struggles, I can’t always show them the love that they need because at the end of the day I will lose myself in loving them when they don’t love me back.
Giving people the benefit of the doubt doesn’t always work. Think fixed all the time doesn’t even work. Things happen in life; shit happens. I’ve been through war and back. Won that war and every other war I faced. Each fight was different, but each tactic was the same. See, that means I never really won that war because the tactic remained fixed. Fixed means nothing if the results don’t change. Mean you are happy where you are, but every day our bodies are changing. Our mind is expanding. We are becoming a day older than yesterday.
I gave it enough time. It’s time I start to live. It’s I start taking back what mine — my life.
I went to the lost and found the other day looking for you.
They said they never heard of you.
They asked me if I could describe you.
I drew blank.
They asked me when was it that I last saw you.
I drew blank.
I left looking for you.
Found that I was creating hate in the search for you.
Building up false images of what I thought you were.
I don’t even know when was the last time I remember feeling you.
Feeling that jolt that runs down my body, of happiness. Now, all I feel is that jolt of rage. Body shaking, clinging on to something that I want to make me feel like what you made me feel.
L O V E
I was there this whole time, I was never lost. Have you ever heard of that expression blinded by love?
You were blinded by your own ego. Love can be overwhelming at times. We are all capable of feeling it. Not all are capable of expressing it. Sometimes people neglect me… I still love them. I understand them. I am also the ruler of compassion and empathy. Within compassion, I sympathize to those who don’t understand how strong I am.
Some look to others for love. While they are love. Ego blocks me out. People confuse me for lust. Most people don’t understand that lust isn’t love.
I heard that you’ve been looking for me. I haven’t been missing, I never left. I am always here and will always be here. You need to find yourself to love again. You need to forgive what gave you that toxic taste in your mouth, that turned me into hate.