Wasted Time

We get lost in the clutter of the world, forgetting that the beauty lives within us all. We come from nowhere to end up going back to the same place where we first started. Lack of expression leaves us with this built-up dead ball of enegery, leaving us to feel a sense of not belonging in a world built for us.

The heart will break, the mind will numb; the body will feel.

Maybe One Day

Maybe one day we’ll unearth each other in the stars like when we first met, maybe one day the blast from the past will create our future as the present unveils itself. Maybe one day, that heart will open again. Until then, only can allow this universe to guide us in seeing where the magic is.

Self-worth.

I have struggled in finding my voice, my worth.
People live in the mindset of mindless chatter about things that don’t make any sense of the end of the day.
Love yourself as much as you love everything else around you in this world. This world will never stop for anyone.
I survived cancer. A big part of me forgot that. I lost that part of my journey through feeling guilty in wanting everyone around me to be happy. I felt guilty in wanting people around me to heal rather than healing. Life goes by fast; sometimes, we need to pause for a moment and let out whatever it is that we are feeling. This pressure of the need to fit in doesn’t make sense. We forget that we all have stories; not everyone would be ready to understand it because a lot of people had their own stories destroyed. I am just as unique as you.
I am learning lessons within this all, who I was my first year out of cancer, isn’t who I am now. I am learning how to remember how strong of a person I am if someone can’t see, the strength that is not on me to show them my strength. 
No one teaches us how to become adults. They persuade us to be everything other than adults. Adults are just as lost. Being lost isn’t a bad thing; being lost means, you need to start searching for who you are.

Loving yourself

Breaking someone’s reality can be hard.
When you tell your truth, it hurts their deception of you and the world.

Life keeps going.

As people, we are blessed and cursed with this thing call Awareness. The conscious mind tells you what is right from wrong.

Most people know how to tell the difference.

I see a split world from time to time, or maybe it’s the people I allow myself to see.

I know there are transcendent people out there in this detailed world.

The thing is many people are not willing to receive messages. They are just not there yet. I am learning how to see the world for what it is. No bullshit no gimmicks, Just seeing what the world shows me, with no judgment. I cannot save the world, because this world is perfect the way it is. Just like you and I. What is happening will always be happening. It doesn’t mean you can’t change what is going to happen. Your reaction will forever shape what will happen next. You decide.

There are many different cultures in this world. So many different people are living life — so many different versions of ourselves in different bodies.

I try and see myself in others; I try and relate to others, I try and give others advice. Empathy is the key to humanity and genuine kindness. Like I said before, many people aren’t ready to receive a message they aren’t prepared for yet.

What people see you as will always be a reflection of who they are. They are just trying to bring their insecurities on to you. Remember this, you matter. Want to know how I know? Because you are reading this and you are ready to receive the message. Be nothing more than who you were meant to be — the best you. If you give a lot it because you are a lot, nobody gives what they don’t have.

With love and respect, I hope you find what you need from this world.

Checking in

A lot has been on my mind lately. Feel’s like life has this trick that it likes to play . At times I feel completely lost and other times I feel like I am on top of this world.

I am just figuring it out. To anyone out there struggling for a purpose, your purpose is just being here. been soul searching for my purpose and the more I search the more lost I am. Don’t repeat toxic cycles, find new meaning to life and learn how to live by them.

I’ve listen to much to how I should live my life, Trying to be other, losing myself in the long run.

I want to do better for myself so that I can do better for others. I am not a poet, I am not a rapper, I am not a person that has had a bad life, I am a person that has seen some stuff I wish I never saw. I know people are going to say well, get out there and be happy. Happiness is far gone when you enter a world that is completely dead. I might sound negative to some but this is my reality, something is missing. Staying in this cycle of hurt will never heal me. People talk all this shit about how great their life is but I can guarantee they are filling a hole somewhere deep within. Life is pain and pain isn’t forever. Just as life isn’t forever.

Empathy > Sympathy

Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Sympathy: feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune.

pity: the feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortunes of others.

sorrow: a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.

distress: sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.

If we can—just for a second—take the time out of our day and tell ourselves “I empathize with you” rather then “I sympathize with you,” this world would be a better place. We have this world confused at times. This world doesn’t need more wars, this world doesn’t need more religious people, this world needs more compassion. A world full of love is a world full of life. 

I have been through a lot—I think we all got the point already. I don’t live in the past, I live in the present. Sometimes, being hurt can overtake you when you believe that your voice doesn’t matter. Every voice matters. We all matter. 

I think about death a lot. Even though I went through it, I still fear it. Not fearing death itself but rather wondering: DID I DO ENOUGH? The first thing I am doing when I become wealthy is helping others. Move somewhere more green and serene, be with nature, write a book about who I am and who I want to become. See how I said when. Not “if” I became wealthy. 

Self love

I am in the process of loving who I am. I am welcoming all parts of myself, with, love. The second you feel pity for yourself, you start to lose the human part of you. ego> aside it’s okay to feel pride with stuff that you do or accomplish. You feel more accomplished when you succeed at something. Loving yourself isn’t a bad thing, just remember to always give that same love to other people. Learn how to ignore the people that try and harm you. Never kill someone with kindness, sometimes you might kill yourself with it instead. Kill them with silence. Understand that your energy is not meant for everyone.

I read this book the other day called “Mind Platter”; there was a line that read

“Don’t break a bird’s wings and then tell it to fly. Don’t break a heart and then tell it to love. Don’t break a soul and then tell it to be happy.” -Mind Platter

Conclusion 

Moving forward, my life is in my hands and I’ll keep trying remaining true to myself and to others. Find empathy rather the sympathy. Choose love rather than hate. Give yourself the time you need to heal. 

Ps. Thank you for reading.